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Short-ish entry, because it's ridiculous-o-clock in the morning. I'm only awake right now because I spent 6 hours today trying to repair my fucked up wireless network, when I have no knowledge of wireless networks. My whole family's pissed at me, but at least I'm online. Most of which I owe to Taylor. I fucked up my back somehow, probably from slouching in Mom's desk chair for so long. Been watching "Celtic Tiger" (Michael Flatley's newest show) on youtube, and my "Lord of the Dance" DVDs, and re-watching "Princess Tutu", because it's all awesome. I leave for Japan in five days. I'm terrified beyond words. I wish I had confidence in myself. Everyone believes in me but me. I feel like a jerk about things I shouldn't give a rat's ass about. My boss that I can't stand bought me a gaudy purse as a going away present, and I'm never going to use it. I can't stand her, and yet I feel bad that she spent money on me. Also, I blew off my aunt for tomorrow. She wanted to hang out with me and go get a tarot reading done, and I blew her off because I was so pissed off about the computers being messed up. But now I feel like I should go, because I want reassurance that my year abroad is going to be fine, despite that I'm paying someone to say it. I keep procrastinating on packing and everything. Partly because I still haven't accepted the fact that I'm leaving, and partly because I have no idea where to even start. I've been really depressed all day. Between the broken (brand new) internet, my guilty conscience, and freaking out about Japan, I'm a total wreck right now. Deanna, if you're reading this (I read yours :P), *hugs* and also, when are you -not- at work? If you want to get together, with me at least, it's going to have to be REAL soon. x . x
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