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The following contains gratuitous swearing. I make no apologies. --- Dear douchebag who tried to break into my house back in CT, If you are who I think you are, you really need to get a fucking life. If you're not who I think you are, then you still need to get a fucking life. You scared the shit out of my family for no reason, and you're clearly retarded. What kind of jackass tries to break a storm window with an umbrella when there's a snow shovel sitting right there, anyway? I'm an upstanding citizen, and I'm STILL not THAT clueless. This leads me to believe that you're probably some dipshit teenager. If you were honest to god trying to steal my mother's computer, which was directly underneath one of the two windows you smashed, you definitely would have tried harder. It stands to reason that your aim was simply vandalism. I suspect you're probably the same asshat who took a shit on our front porch a couple of months ago. You've got some fucking nerve. Wishing you'd go die in a fire, --- Nothing's fucking sacred anymore. I live down the street from a registered sex offender whose mother works at my old high school, the Xtra Mart down the street from me has been held up god-knows-how-many times, and now some idiot smashed two of my porch windows and an umbrella, cut one of the window screens, and apparently tried (quite unsuccessfully) to rip the storm window over the kitchen sink clear out of the wall. My hometown used to be the type where you could run around at night and not worry about who might be lurking around. Now it's going to hell. What the fuck is wrong with people? Makes me appreciate how much safer it is in Japan.
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